Difficult decisions are often easier to make than we think – especially if we’ll pay attention to key signposts along the way of the journey.
Allow me to offer two examples.
First, when the cardiac surgeon came to the opinion that my congenital heart problem needed to be addressed VERY SOON by open heart surgery. I looked at what an operation would entail, including being operated on (and recovering in) hospitals far away from my family and home: either The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota or Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles. I chose to wait/research other options. I ultimately asked if there might be a clear third option: being operated on in my home town of Boise, ID. As soon as we found out there was a local surgeon with thousands of successful cases available, I made the immediate decision and set the date. There was no hesitation and no need to postpone making the decision.
The operation was a complete success and six months later I am almost 100% healed. Read about my journey post-surgery here.
Second example, I was recently approached to consider throwing my hat into politics as a 2026 candidate. The case was made by a number of folks who have seen my involvement in business and politics over the last 40 years. These friends appreciate my business beliefs and feel that I can help in Idaho. I certainly appreciate their confidence in me. I’m waiting as I consider any such race, because there is no urgent need to decide quickly.
My life is taking a remarkably different path as my business coaching and author duties are seeming to reduce as I help many of my clients prepare for their own retirement – and after 11 published books (both private and public), I only have one remaining potential book in queue – the third book of my historical science fiction trilogy. I may yet have another book inside me – about “Coaching”, but I’ll wait on that for a little bit. Again, waiting is a good thing – and at times, a wise decision.
Regardless of one’s age and career path, maybe you’re at a bit of a crossroads. It doesn’t have to involve big things like retirement, running for office or racing in a marathon – it could, however, involve moving, volunteer work, buying a small business, or a large one… or even just sending out your resume for consideration of a new job.
Let’s explore the methods I use when I make life-amending decisions. I hope these points will benefit you, as much as they have helped my family and me over the years.
Thoughts that I consider when making my decisions:
First, I ask myself a series of questions that take me down a funnel of thought – a pain funnel of questions. Through prayer, I also ask God to help me answer those questions, one hundred percent honestly. One of my business coaches, Jim Stephens, receives full credit for changing my life through coaching me via The Sandler System decades ago.
Next, I take a fierce inventory of my options. Who, what, where, when and how are the many “questions” I ask myself. You’ll notice, I’ve left out the question of why. I’ll touch base on that in a second.
Finally, I assign a specific date, by which the decision (large or small) will be made – and I move forward - not taking into account whether my objective will ultimately succeed or fail. Often times, the patience of waiting helps me realize that there are three answers to questions about my decisions: Yes, No, and Wait.
Pain Funnel Questions
The nine questions I ask myself are key. I’d suggest that you also ask them in the order that I present here. Do it as if you are a character in one of my spacetime books where people meet their younger and older selves and are interviewed by themselves. (which is really pretty cool when I’m writing them! Ha.) In this case, act as if an older version of you is talking with the current version of you about these points. Keep the image of a funnel in your mind as you ask and answer the questions.
- What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?
- Give an example.
- Be specific.
- How long have you been struggling with this decision?
- What have you tried to do to solve it?
- Did it work?
- How much has this situation cost you – in terms of money, worry, concern or all of these?
- How does it make you feel?
- Are you tired of dealing with it?
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…At least three times. There is sincere value in speaking these questions and answers out loud to yourself. Educational clarity often comes through sight, sound, and experience.
Since the question of ”why” is missing in this section, realize that it’s the only question that probes your intentions. It’s the question that peels back the reasons for moving forward in your examination of the pending changes, given your new opportunity.
A Fierce Inventory
The question “Why” starts making itself known to you here.
For many years, my old business partner, Mac Mayer and I helped drug addicts and alcoholics escape their dependency on substances. Laziness and lack of clarity often accompany substance abusers. They simply are late to work, uncaring if they get fired and more interested in getting high than in living life.
You don’t have to be a raging drunk or a substance abuser to take inventories – FIERCE inventories - of yourself. We each have our own adversities to overcome. Write out the reasons you wish to do this rather than staying where you are doing that. For example, if you have an opportunity for a new job, write down the benefits and then write down the detriments of the move. Include things like uprooting family verses receiving a larger salary, etc.
Be surgically truthful. What is it you are trying to do by pursuing whatever new or big opportunity is in front of you? Like any large tree, there’s probably a tap-root that goes deep.
Dig deep; write it out.
Be specific
Give an eviction notice (with a specific date) for the decision you’re making; it’s been taking up occupancy in your mind for far too long. Specific dates force us to confront procrastination and overcome it. Have a large windshield and a small rearview mirror. Move forward.
When the decision is made, take the path you chose. Sometimes it’s the road less traveled
Sometimes, it’s the road less anticipated, especially when patience is involved. On these types of decisions, the key is to be patient and wait.
50 years ago, (this next summer), incumbent President Gerald Ford beat Ronald Reagan for the GOP nomination for President. Later that year Ford lost to Democrat Jimmy Carter.
Reagan waited patiently to make his next long-term decision.
He returned four years later and won the Presidency.
Often, the patience of waiting pays off.
You and I are not anticipating something as grand as the Presidency, though we ARE deciding on things grand to us. The principles remain the same.
Embrace the painful decision-making process and appreciate it, it will be worth it!
Oh, and about how I made my two decisions?
I went down the Pain Funnel in my mind so that the decision to have the operation passed all the steps. I made a fierce inventory - about living and dying and chose life. I chose a specific date: November 22nd, 2024 and was operated on that date.
Regarding the potential re-entry into politics on a local Idaho level, waiting and exercising patience are what I choose. The nine questions are in my equation. I’m circling down that pain funnel, examining what the most important things will be for Susan and me. Open heart surgery has a way of doing just that for all of us who have been operated on.
I’m also praying, listening to many close friends, taking a fierce inventory by weighing their advice, taking my own time, examining the few roads less taken and realizing that the virtue of patience is often God’s way of not yet telling us "Yes", while in the same He’s not telling us "NO". I’ve come to understand waiting upon the Lord is a pain-funnel sort of thing.
I’m open to hearing your thoughts, too, as to whether you think I should enter back into the arena that Teddy Roosevelt addressed in France a century-plus ago.
Regarding a date, I will make the final decision this year.
More later,
Den
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Here’s a great asset for looking towards setting your next set of goals:
- If you are a follower of Jesus, take a look at Priority Living’s website: https://priorityliving.org/. Using an incredible assortment of coaching and mentoring techniques, Priority Living’s amazing team under the leadership of Jeff Gerhardt has helped followers of Jesus in life and in business.
- And on another side of your life….The sitcom, The Office is a good template for how NOT to plan for things…) Enjoy!
