Whether I’m coaching an executive, speaking at an event, or writing a book, I am passionate about helping people overcome challenges to succeed. In business, in relationships — in life.
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Seinfeld and Surgery
Published 16 days ago • 5 min read
The Mansfield Newsletter
Empowering you to overcome challenges and succeed
A number of weeks ago I reported to you via this newsletter that in mid-November I would be undergoing heart surgery to repair a congenital heart defect (from birth).
The surgery was successful!
Along with that, the doc sheathed an aortic aneurysm, which turned out to be somewhat hidden and yet much more important on many levels. I’ll unpack that in a second.
Allow me to thank you for your prayers. God heard them and responded in our favor.
I’ll let Susan take it from here regarding her experience with the operation and subsequent initial recovery period, since I was the patient, and she, along with our adult children, Meg & Colin, (and their spouses) bore the brunt while I “slipped away” into the inner world of medicine’s hidden coves of unconsciousness.
From Susan:
It’s been a wild ride these last two weeks. Trauma has a way of planting itself in one’s brain all the while the body and mind are working to make sense of the struggle. This was what happened to me.
The first time I saw Dennis post-op, I cried. It was more than I could take. He had tubes coming out of many orifices and he was not breathing on his own. His skin was ashen and lifeless. In my heart, it took me back to the intense feelings around the death of our son, Nate. Even though it was different, and I knew Dennis was alive—the feelings took me right back to that place.
As Dennis awoke from anesthesia that first evening he was jovial (however not in his right mind!) and really talking up the tales. I asked him if he had any dreams and he replied, “Yes! I drove a souped-up red car into the operating room and when they told me to get out, I backed the car out and sped to the mall!” He went on and on with the tale and we (our kids and I) laughed and laughed.
The subsequent five days were much less humorous and reality set in for all of us. On day five, all the chest tubes were removed and Dennis was coming home!
That evening he started acting funny. Slurring words, talking non-sense, and he had very little physical coordination. Off we went to the ER. Multiple tests were run and the outcome was that Dennis suffered a small stroke and was having an adverse reaction to the the mixture of the pain medications. It was a long night. Our son Colin stayed at the ER and I went home and cried myself to sleep—again a trauma response and a cry to the Lord for His mercy on Dennis, and peace for me for whatever the outcome of this diagnosis.
Overnight at the ER
The next day was Thanksgiving. The family took turns at the hospital and we had a simple Thanksgiving dinner at my daughter Meg’s house. Day turned to night and after many consultations with doctors and keeping a keen eye on Dennis’s progression, it was determined that most likely the symptoms he had exhibited were mostly due to the build up of the pain meds in his body. This was fixable! Praise the Lord, Dennis was recovering! WE once more returned home, this time it stuck!
Smiling faces, thankful that Dennis was healing
It’s been a week now. Dennis is on the road to recovery, he’s got a few challenges but nothing humor and God can’t handle.
I’m learning that even in my tears and struggles I am sure of one thing, I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I will go through trials and tribulations and I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future. For that I am thankful!
As I mentioned in November’s Newsletter, humor appears to have brought me through much pain.
As my post-op days were “jammed packed” with nothingness, it seemed wholly appropriate that I watch Seinfeld - the 1990’s sitcom about “nothing”.
Then, I found out something.
When Steven Spielberg was making Shindler’s List - a deeply disturbing film about the Holocaust, THIS happened:
”This was not fertile ground for laughs, but to get through the making of such a soul-scarring motion picture, Spielberg needed some semblance of levity. And so, when he knocked off for the day, he would retire to his quarters in Poland and find lighthearted solace via two sources: phone calls from Robin Williams and videotapes of "Seinfeld" episodes.
For Jerry Seinfeld, discovering Spielberg's fandom was a godsend. As he remarked in a 2014 Reddit AMA, "That was really one of the great moments in the history of the show. We really felt like we were doing something worthwhile."
So, returning to my world, the Seinfeld episodes met me in my hospital room - and later at home in my recovery bedroom - day after day until I finished every episode. The entire nine seasons!
After I completed the series, I came to an awareness:
The depth of pain brought about by deep physical trauma is REALLY overcome-able.
Just as I relearned to laugh after the emotional trauma of the loss of my oldest son, Nate, I have seen laughter return as my body heals.
Maybe everybody knows this. I sure did not know it.
I hoped it would be the truth, but now I’ve seen it with my own eyes. In a REAL sense, I’ve felt it with my own heart.
Allow me to return to an earlier paragraph and unpack my thoughts on the hidden aneurysm.
It’s a picture of the things we all know nothing about; much can crouch at our doorstep and spring up and hurt us when we least expect it - maybe even “kill” us in one sense or another.
Or can they?
Let’s poke around in your world.
What lurks beneath your surface, right now? What great fear do you silently wrestle with on a repeated basis? My guess is that it’s had a guest room in your head-house for many years.
As a young father, my greatest fear was the loss of a child. Then, it happened. The fear not only rented space in my head, it owned whole city blocks in my brain. My son died. I HAD to face this fear. Either I owned it or it owned me.
For others, maybe you have been terrified by the fear of possible strokes and extended hospitalization. I understand that, too.
For many others, it could be the fear of finances.
The key is that YOU CAN DO NOTHING about it. Jesus said this:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
It’s in the being able to do “nothing” about most key things, that Seinfeld’s stories will allow you an exit route out of Crazy-ville!!
Taking time in prayer releases ALL the pent up worry.
Bottom line:
Stop worrying. He has it all covered. The God who made you, “gets” you. Just as you know your kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, and other loved ones, God’s heart knows you.
It was there for me on the operating table when my own heart couldn’t handle it any more. That’s one simple truth today - coming from many, many minutes, hours and days of my personal pain.
Take it to the bank.
More later, Den
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Please let me know how God has met you over the years. I’d love to hear your story.
What one thing are you giving thanks for during this month? How may I pray for you?
How is your faith in Jesus right now? Please let me know. I’d love to hear.
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Whether I’m coaching an executive, speaking at an event, or writing a book, I am passionate about helping people overcome challenges to succeed. In business, in relationships — in life.
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